Right now, I’m sitting in one of our local coffee shops, sipping a lavender-vanilla latte while John plays guitar with a small group at the front. The mix of soft folksy music and indoor Christmas lights make the whole place feel dreamy and warm, and it’s moments like this where I feel like I’m living in some sort of daydream.
Earlier today, I went to lunch with an old friend of mine. It was never a surprise to me (or anyone around her) that she became a teacher. In middle school, when I was trying to skip the “work” part of homework, she lectured me and proceeded to walk through every single problem on our math homework with me. While I hopped around from activity to activity, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, she always had a clear direction.
I’ve always been envious of people like that. It’s rare for someone to find their passion while they are so young, but it does happen. However, I’m still trying to figure out what the word “passion” means to me.
As much as I enjoy a lot of my hobbies, I wouldn’t necessarily call most of them a “passion.” To me, a passion is something that is constantly on your mind. You walk around town and notice things that relate to that thing, you find yourself wondering if you could change something to make that thing better overall, and you fall asleep dreaming about that one thing.
You aren’t born with your passions. These are things that are carefully cultivated and grown within you over the years. You have to choose what you pursue, but you aren’t necessarily going to be good at it from the beginning.
One hobby that has turned into a genuine passion for me has been writing. Even though it’s what I do for work, it’s also something I enjoy doing for fun. However, if you had told 18-year-old me that I would be making a living by writing technical user manuals and informational documentation, then going home at night to write in my free time, I would have rolled my eyes and called you crazy. At that point, you couldn’t pay me to get 100 words down on a page. For years, I struggled with essays and writing in general. I had conceptual ideas, but getting them down onto paper was so difficult that I really couldn’t see past the first paragraph.
My goal my first few years of college was to get through my English classes as quickly as possible so that I could focus on what I REALLY wanted to do, whatever that was. I took four English and literature classes my freshman year, then heard about this stellar teacher who was lecturing the next semester on American Lit. I ended up adding two more English classes the next semester, just to take for fun, of course. Little by little, I realized that those “just for fun” classes were filling my schedule, and I ended up in the English Adviser’s office in the spring of my Sophomore year.
Writing came after that. I signed up for a creative writing class for fun, then another, then another, and then I decided to make it my focus. Technical writing was a nice little add-on suggestion from my adviser my Junior year.
In a lot of ways, I got really lucky. I had people around me who saw that I was enjoying something, and helped me find a way to make money doing that thing. However, if left to my own devices, I probably would not have studied English. I’m not sure exactly what I would have studied, to be honest. Maybe I would still be floundering around, trying to figure it out.
My struggle with writing has not resolved completely, but through that struggle I’ve found little tricks that help me write better. I try to write every day, and over time it has become easier and easier to get past those first few paragraphs. If I skip writing for a few days, it is much harder to get words on a page.
If you’re just beginning to pursue your passion, don’t give up hope. There’s a great quote floating around the internet these days: “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle,” and I think that is great starting advice. It’s great to seek help and advice from people further along in their journey, but you should never allow yourself to feel inadequate. Additionally, it’s OKAY if your beginning takes you longer comparatively. Go at your own pace, but KEEP GOING. The most important part of pursuing your passion is moving forward. Continue to challenge yourself, continue to research, continue to learn things about your pursuit. You might even discover something new about yourself along the way.
Cheers,
